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Random Thoughts of a Failed Southern Belle

Monday, November 28, 2005

Flipping the bird


Preen
Originally uploaded by vonvonvon.
So there are a million things that have happened over the last few months... a trip to Memphis, another appearance on Entertainment Tonight, a Jerry Lewis celebrity sighting. And I've been feeling guilty for forsaking the blog. But rather than try to reconstruct the summer and fall, I'm just diving in with this story from yesterday.

I went to staff the Pagan Pride table at the New Moon NY Pagan Spirituality Expo. No, I promise, that's not even the funny part. So after we set up the table, I went out in search of candy to lure people our way so that we could tell them about our fundraiser. As I am racing about Chelsea, I here a loud squawk and look across the street.

There is a woman with two very large parrots sitting on her shoulders (on leashes). The are the blue and yellow variety, but I can't tell you more that that. I am not a big fan of birds as pets. But I just chuckled and went along my way. Seeing weird crap like that on the street is a daily occurrence. It's amazing how you can get used to it.

However, as I should have known, I happened to be at the center of a weirdo vortex that day (i.e. Pagan Expo at The Center). So soon after I returned with my mini Reese's cups and Cherry Cordial Kisses, the parrot lady suddenly appeared because she was attending the event.

I am not a good networker at these events. I just sit at my table, and bide my time. I observed the parrot lady making the rounds, and a number of people posing with the parrots on their shoulders. Gah.

Eventually, the parrot lady made it over to our table, but sans birds (thank the gods). And she began some ramble about ancient Egypt, which I tuned out completely, suddenly becoming engrossed by the program.

Finally we were nearing the end of the three hour event. When suddenly the parrot lady reappeared with the birds this time. She showed us some tricks, like having the parrot play dead, then making it do a head stand, and then swinging it around by the beak. No, seriously. And the bird didn't seem to mind. And then, before I could protest, she put one of the damn things on my shoulder. My friend Nikki got the other one. Rather that causing a scene, I just smiled for the camera.

But then… the parrot went for my eye! In the famous worlds of Sister... "MY EYE!! my eye…" The beak didn't actually make contact with my delicate eyeball, but it was close enough. I yelped a bit and quickly facilitated transference of the parrot back to the owner. "Oh, don't worry," crazy parrot lady said, "She just likes to collect eyelashes". What the fuck! Like the bird has a damn scrapbook or something. No. That thing was going after my sweet sweet eyeball nectar.

Moral of the story… ummmm. There is no moral. Other than the fact that occasionally, I realize my life has taken on freakshow-esque qualities. But I guess that's just my own damn fault.

End of Post

 

4 Comments:

Blogger Char said...

I
H-A-T-E
f'in
birds!!!!

10:30 PM 
Blogger Alli said...

bRdZ r0cKz0rZ

yeah, baby...see how I talk all hipster and fresh like the kids these days?

hell yeah!

the end.

ps, i miss you.

1:33 AM 
Blogger Dustin said...

Welcome back, love :-)

4:46 PM 
Blogger Gary said...

Oh my word...only in the world of KIM...

2:54 AM 

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